Fantasies Come True
by GirlX2
Summary: Leave it to Wilson to make something like turning into a dragon dull...Strong House/Wilson Friendship, perhaps pre-slash. Mild crack.
1. Chapter 1

Fantasies Come True, Chapter One  
By GirlX2

--I believe whatever doesn't kill you makes you...stranger.The Joker--

"Wilson! Need a consult." House bellowed from outside the oncologist's office door.

"Not now House!" Wilson's cry sounded frantic.

'He didn't even open the door to kick me out. That's not going to stand.' House pulled a replica of Wilson's office key from his pocket and let himself in. "You didn't think that was actually going to work, did you?"

Wilson yelped in surprise and stumbled over something unseen. "How did you-"

"Not important." House shrugged. "I need you to…"

The diagnostician trailed off.

"House? Say something."

"…Why are there wings growing out of your back?"

"I don't have the slightest clue." Wilson hung his head.

Large bat-like wings were unfurled from his back. House limped slowly around his friend, and saw that they had torn right through the fabric of his lab coat. A long scaly tail was poking out as well. The color of all of these new appendages was a very dark green. Lizard-like.

"When did this start?"

"About an hour ago." Wilson's wings shifted slightly, creating a breeze. "And the damn things keep growing. They've got to have a six foot span already."

House thought this over for a few moments. "Cool."

"I'm turning into some kind of lizard man and all you can say is 'cool'?"

"Actually, I think you're turning into a dragon." House shifted some of the ripped fabric. "There are scales spreading all over your back."

Wilson groaned and sank down onto his couch. His tail curled around his legs, and the wings folded themselves against his back.

"Did you do that or was it unconscious?"

"I didn't do anything." Wilson buried his face in his hands. "They seem to have a mind of their own."

"Interesting." House stretched one wing out carefully.

"Don't touch them!"

"Can't help you if I can't touch you." House replied, inspecting the scaly skin.

"I'm turning into a mythological creature. I think this is beyond even your expertise." Wilson muttered as House toyed with his wing.

House sighed. "Don't be so sure."

Slowly, he lifted the edge of his pant leg. Not only was the appendage underneath it furrier than Wilson remembered, it now ended in a cloven black hoof.

"Holy hell."

"I'm either becoming a satyr or a faun, I'm not sure which. I've got the beginning of horns too." He indicated the top of his head, where Wilson could just see the tips of something pointy poking out of his hair. "And I'm not sure, but my fellows were looking a little strange."

"This is insane." The oncologist murmured, reaching out to touch House's horns. House shied away from him, hooves clicking on the floor.

"You piss off any ugly old ladies with roses lately?"

"Not me. You?"

"Probably, but it doesn't explain why you're turning." House shrugged.

"Have you talked to Cuddy? Maybe she'll know what's going on."

House's face split into a grin. "Cuddy. With any luck she's a nymph. Well, more of a nymph."

The oncologist groaned again as his wings grew a few more inches. And was it his imagination, or were his fingernails beginning to look claw-like?

"Go talk to her before this gets any worse. If these things get much bigger I'm not going to fit in my office."

"I'll be back in a bit. Don't go anywhere." House snickered.

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Like I could."

Wilson watched House walk (trot, actually) down the hall, his hooves clicking merrily.

'Well. May as well get some paperwork done while I wait.'

-

Before House had could get to Cuddy's office, Foreman accosted him in the hallway.

"House, I know this is going to sound crazy-"

"Your ears are pointy and your complexion is about ten times smoother." House smirked slightly. "Either means you're an elf or a vampire."

The dropping of Foreman's jaw revealed perfectly normal sized teeth. Elf it was.

"How did you-"

"You're not the only one who's going through changes." House clicked a hoof against the tiles.

"Holy _shit_." Foreman's eyes got huge.

"We'd better go check on Chase and Cameron. God only knows what's happening to them." House decided the Dean of Medicine could wait.

"My eyesight and my hearing are sharper. A _lot _sharper." Foreman said as they went into House's office. "At first I just thought you slipped me amphetamines."

"If I slipped you something there is no way it would be this cool." House replied, taking a look around the office. His other ducklings seemed to have gone missing. "Huh."

"House!" A quiet wail caught his ear. Slowly, he and Foreman focused their gaze on the glass tabletop.

Standing there, wrapped in a handkerchief, was a three inch tall Cameron. Gauzy wings poked out of her back. Her normal clothes were trailed across the floor and table.

"Oh my God." Foreman dropped down to inspect her, more out of habit than necessity. His newly-improved eyes could make out every detail just fine. "Are you alright?"

"No I'm not alright!" She stamped one tiny foot. "Right after you left the room I started shrinking! I barely had time to get on the table. And then these--these _wings _popped out!"

"Any idea where Chase is?" House asked.

"No." She said miserably. "He ran out a few minutes ago."

"Did he look…normal?" Foreman tried to be delicate.

"I think so." She stared up at them "House, are those _horns_?"

House nodded. "Yeah, and Wilson's looking none-to-human either. We'd better go find Chase before he turns into a were-kangaroo."

Cameron's expression changed from anger to worry. "I hope he's not tiny like me. He could get squished if he's on the floor somewhere."

"I'm sure Chase is fine." Foreman didn't look sure of this at all. "Do you want me to carry you?"

"_What_?"

"Unless you fly you won't be able to come. Foreman, pick her up." House ordered and left the office.

"I don't want to try flying." Cameron shuddered slightly. "You can carry me.

"Alright." Forman said quietly and laid his hand palm-up in front of her. Cameron hesitated for a moment before climbing on.

"Maybe I should put you in my pocket. So nobody sees you." He suggested.

"No! Just…just don't crush me." She sounded scared.

"Okay." He followed quickly behind House, Cameron nestled in his hand. "House, should we stop and get Wilson?"

"I don't think so. You and I can still pass for human, but he's too far gone. Leave it to Wilson to be the biggest martyr--no offense Cameron." House smirked.

Cameron just shook her head, causing a faint sound like the ringing of tiny bells. "Make all the short jokes you want House. I really don't care."

"That's good."

Foreman did his best to shield Cameron from the sight of the people he and House passed on their way down. A few did do a double-take with House's horns, but nobody said anything. They probably thought it was some kind of costume piece. One of Cameron's wings brushed his fingers, leaving a glittery trail.

"Fairy dust." Wonder filled her voice.

"Of course. What did you think you were?" House asked.

"I…I didn't think about it. This is all so weird--"

"Which is exactly why you should be thinking about it." House replied.

Foreman's beeper suddenly went off. He fumbled at it with his free hand, trying not to drop Cameron.

"It's Chase." He said, surprised. "He wants me to come to the physical therapy room."

"Cuddy can wait." House said. "This ought to be good."

-

To Be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Fantasies Come True

By GirlX2

Chapter Two

--I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger.--

"Chase?" Foreman called as he entered the blue tiled room. His voice seemed to bounce back a lot more than usual; probably because his new ears.

"Foreman, is that you?" Chase called back. It sounded like he was in the soak-room.

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?" Cameron piped up as loudly as she could.

"Cameron? I-I didn't know you were with him." Chase sounded horrified.

"She's already seen you naked, no reason to be worried now." House clicked past them into the soak-room. "Oh. I stand corrected."

Foreman hurried after him. "What is it? Is he…"

Chase was lying in one of the steel soaking tubs. Immersed in the water where his legs should have been was a long blue-ish fish tail.

"You're a merman?!" Cameron squeaked.

Chase's eyes snapped to Foreman's hand. "Oh my God. Cameron, what--"

"Okay, long story short--elf-man, fairy, and satyr." House pointed to his fellows and himself in turn. "Also, Wilson's becoming a dragon."

Foreman glanced sharply at House. "You didn't tell us that before!"

"What does it matter?"

"He could be dangerous, House. Dragons aren't exactly know for their gentle natures."

"Relax, he's just got a set of wings and a tail. We have a while before he goes Smaug on us."

"Oh, great."

Cameron stood up carefully on Foreman's palm. "Chase are you--WOAH!"

She suddenly was in mid-air, speeding toward Chase. The startled intensivest got his hand up just in time to stop her from colliding with his face. She squeaked, fell a few inches, and plopped ungracefully onto his bare chest.

"Cameron! I didn't mean to…Are you alright?" Chase scooped her up gently, worry filling his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Cameron looked more embarrassed than anything else. She tugged at the handkerchief, trying to straighten it out. The movement made her wings jerk, causing a cascade of sparkles to fall.

House was snickering. "_That _was priceless."

"This isn't a joke." Foreman glared at him. "We're all turning into things that can't exist. Someone could get hurt."

"Yeah, yeah, take all the fun out of this." House grumbled. "Okay, elf-man and I are going to talk to Cuddy. Cameron, you stay here with Chase in case something happens."

"What bloody good is that going to do?" Chase demanded. "If something does happen I can't exactly walk away, and Cameron is next to useless."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Cameron snapped.

"I didn't mean it like that! I just…Um…" Chase's tail swished around the water nervously.

"Obviously you two have a lot to talk about. Let's leave them in peace Foreman." House's eyes glinted evilly.

"Gladly."

"I don't think we should leave Wilson alone. If he's turned completely into a dragon he could start breathing fire and burn the hospital down."

"It's _Wilson_." House rolled his eyes. "He's about as likely to go maniac and kill us all as Cameron is."

"Cameron now or Cameron when she's pissed at you? Because I'd buy it then." Foreman was growing more and more irritated with House. Not to mention his super-senses were giving him a headache.

"Just calm down, I'll check on him after we talk to Cuddy." House said as they walked into the Dean of Medicine's office. To House's dissapointment, Cuddy looked completly normal. Perhaps she was some kind of shape-shifting demon...

She glanced sharply up at them. "House, whatever it is, I don't have time to--are those horns?"

"Yep." House parted his hair slightly, so she could see they were attached to his scalp. "Thought I'd try a new look for fall."

"Oh…my…God." She choked out. "What _happened _to you?"

"The same thing that's happing to myself, Chase, Cameron, and Wilson, unfortunately." Foreman replied, motioning to his ears. "And we're the most normal."

Cuddy got up from her desk. "Are they alright?"

"For the moment." Foreman nodded. "Chase and Cameron are in the physical therapy room, but Wilson-"

"Wilson is fine." House waved a hand dismissively.

"Wilson is not fine." Foreman replied coldly. "The rest of us are still half human, but he's turning into a dragon."

"_WHAT_?!"

House shot him a look of pure venom. "He's fine, it's just a case of wings and a tail."

"That was thirty minutes ago. By now, who knows."

"Foreman, go and talk to Cameron and Chase. Maybe they have an idea about what's happing. House and I are going to see Wilson." Cuddy ordered.

"Sure." Foreman nodded, relieved. Having a gigantic fire-breathing oncologist in the next office over simply didn't bode well. He quickly left.

"Foreman's overreacting." House growled as Cuddy hurried toward the elevators. "It's still Wilson, even if he is getting scaly."

"I'm sorry House, but if Wilson is posing any kind of threat to the safety of the patients or the staff, I'll have to do something."

"Like what?" House demanded, clicking after her. "You toss him out of here and some idiot with a shotgun will hunt him down in ten minutes."

"Let's just see what kind of state he's in before you have a fit, shall we?" Cuddy hissed.

House glared at her on the way up, but didn't say anything.

-

"Wilson?" Cuddy gingerly knocked on his door. There was a frantic scrabbling sound from within, but no answer.

"It's fine, she already knows." House shifted uncomfortable on his hooves. The shaggy fur under his clothes was starting to make him very hot. He opened the door and they slipped inside.

Wilson had drawn the shades and turned off all the lights. There appeared to be no sign of the oncologist in the dim room, aside from the shuffling sound coming from behind his desk. House spotted the tip of something green and scaly poking out from behind it. He prodded the mystery appendage with his cane, earning a startled yelp. It flared, and revealed itself to be a wing. House noted that it wasn't too much larger than it had been earlier.

"You may as well come out." House told the desk. "There's an angry mob waiting."

A groan emanated from behind the furniture.

"Nobody is waiting!" Cuddy glared at the diagnostician. "We just want to help you."

The slithering shuffle started up again as Wilson crept into view.

Dark green scales, slightly lighter wings, and the same brown eyes ridged with a thick scaly brow. Dull, House thought, considering all the cool colors and shapes Wilson could have morphed into. Leave it to Wilson to make something like turning into a dragon dull.

Wilson wasn't much bigger as a dragon than he'd been as a human, which explained why the office hadn't been very disheveled. The tail and new neck gave him a bit of extra length, perhaps close to twelve feet. He was crouched low to the ground, so House couldn't judge his height. Probably a bit lower than six feet, at least if he didn't stretch out his neck.

"Oh…Wilson. I'm sorry." Cuddy crouched next to him. She reached out to touch his brow, but pulled back. Wilson nodded slowly, and she skimmed the scales with her fingers.

"I'm guessing your new body is incapable of speech." House eyed the elongated neck. Wilson nodded, looking a bit mournful now. "I don't suppose you're telepathic to compensate?"

Wilson rolled his eyes.

"I'm just asking." House grinned and put his hand on the outstretched wing. "We have _got _to take you flying."

Wilson stretched out his neck, now face to face with House. The diagnostician took careful note of the large, pointed teeth Wilson was now sporting.

And promptly ignored them. It was still Wilson, even if he did look like a 'Lord of the Rings' reject.

"We've got to get you guys out of here so no one sees you." Cuddy said.

"We can't move around much. Grendel here is too inconspicuous and Chase currently has no legs."

Wilson blinked in confusion.

"Merman." House clarified. "Unless you have a giant tropical fish tank, the physical therapy soak tub is probably the best place to keep him."

"I can clear out the therapy pool for Chase." Cuddy replied. "Give him a bit of, er, leg room. So to speak. We can try to figure out what's going on down there."

"And 'Puff' here?"

Cuddy frowned thoughtfully at this. "Think he'll fit on the service elevator?"

-

To be Continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Fantasies Come True

By GirlX2

Chapter Three

--I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger.--

It turned out Wilson _could _fit on the service elevator, if he folded his wings and curled into a ball. He was on top of a gurny, but hidden by a sheet. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but it beat House's suggestion of trying to fly down. At the very least, someone would see him.

Wilson curled up as tightly as he could. Cuddy had wheeled a gurney onto the elevator as well, hoping to keep him hidden until they got to the therapy room. After what seemed like an eternity of rolling, the sheet was pulled away. Wilson found himself looking at a medium sized pool and three very nervous fellows.

He held in a sigh. He probably looked pretty scary--they had every right to be apprehensive. House didn't seem to be worried, but that was House.

Wilson slid off the gurney onto the cool concrete of the pool room. The pool was about the size of a backyard swimming pool. Chase had been amusing himself by dipping under the water for long periods of time. Apparently he'd gained the ability to breathe underwater with his transformation. Water dripped into his eyes, but he continued to stare.

"I don't suppose any of you have any ideas." House asked flatly, drawing their attention from Wilson.

"Um…well, there's the possibility of a spell." Cameron piped up. "Fairies and spells go together."

"Witches go better." Foreman replied.

"You're idiots. There's no such thing as magic." House grumbled, but whipped a maker out of his jacket and began scribbling on the gurney's mattress anyway.

"House, you're paying to get that cleaned off." Cuddy growled.

"Oh, being soaked in blood and bile is okay, but a sharpie will do this in. Got it." House clicked a hoof on the cement, annoyed. "Bigger problems right now, including the fact that our head oncologist is smoking in the hospital."

Wilson winced. He'd hoped that no one would notice the thin plumes curling from his mouth. He couldn't help it.

"Yeah, all we have to worry about is getting flame broiled." Wilson found his hearing was sharper as well, as he picked up on Foreman's mutter. He sighed and laid flat on the cold floor, trying to look harmless.

A new look crossed Cameron's face. She approached Wilson slowly, hovering near ground level. She seemed to have gotten the hang of her wings. Wilson blinked in confusion as she patted his nose. He could have taken her out easiest of anyone--she was about the size of a bug.

"It's okay Wilson. We know you wouldn't hurt anyone." She said softly. A sprinkle of fairy dust settled on the floor around her.

Wilson nodded slowly, but he didn't get up. Cameron settled next to him and stroked the thin bat-wing like web of flesh that outlined his ear.

Chase was watching them intensely from the poolside. His tail churned the water uneasily. He didn't like Cameron being next to something so much bigger than she was--but that really wasn't avoidable at this point.

"If this is magical in origin, how could it have happened?" He asked. "We all have different, um…symptoms, but they all started at about the same time. Seems a bit much for a single spell."

"See? Magic is a stupid idea. That's why science replaced it." House grumbled.

"House, I think it's safe to say whatever's happening here isn't scientific." Cuddy said. "We're going to have to consider some outlandish possibilities."

"Oh, sure, we can begin with the basics." House threw his hands into the air. "Let's start with saying 'I do not believe in fairies' and see how long it takes Cameron to fall down dead!"

--Thump!--

They all stared at the tiny immunologist lying sprawled across the cement.

"…Huh." Was all House could say.

"Shit!" Chase began clapping frantically. "I do believe in fairies! I do, I do!"

After a moment Cameron began to cough weakly. Cuddy and Foreman joined in the clapping. House just continued to stare.

Cameron slowly climbed to her feet, bracing an arm on Wilson's neck. The oncologist nudged her gently, helping her to her feet.

"I'm okay." She threw a venomous glare at House.

"I didn't think it would work!"

"House, shut up before you kill someone else." Cuddy growled.

"_Please_, the odds of that are-"

"House!"

House looked annoyed, but stopped arguing. "Fine. Let's say it is magic. Anyone have any idea on how to fix it?"

"Well…fairies are supposed to have magic powers." Foreman said slowly, gaze lingering on Cameron.

"I…I guess I could try." Cameron said reluctantly.

"Let's call that plan 'D', right after the witch doctor." House said sarcastically. "Even if Cameron has magic powers, she has no idea how to use them. I really don't want to end up turned into a fuzzy woodland creature while she's learning."

"As opposed to the fuzzy woodland creature you are now." Cuddy retorted. Wilson let out a rumbling noise that was obviously a laugh.

"Do you have a better idea?" Foreman asked.

"…Not yet. Give me a while with a white board."

"Sorry House, but there is no way you're going to figure this out on your own. You don't even believe in magic." Cuddy replied. "And barring any other ideas, Cameron may be the best shot we have of getting you all back to normal."

"We have no idea why this even happened. Having Cameron hack blindly at it isn't going to help anything."

"Well I'm not seeing any other options, unless you want to wait and hope this eventually reverses itself." Cuddy said.

"I can live with that."

"You can, but what about the rest of us?" Chase retorted. "We can't hide down here forever."

"Fine fish-boy, if you're so eager to get your precious legs back, let Cameron try her hoo-doo on you first." House said.

"I, um…" Chase looked flustered. "I guess that would be fine."

Cameron didn't look happy about this, but fluttered to the poolside. "Does anyone know how this is supposed to work?"

"I'm sure there's a copy of 'Ferngully' in the pediatric wing if you want a demonstration." House said sarcastically.

"Ignore him." Cuddy instructed. "Just do whatever feels natural. Worst case scenario is nothing happens."

"I can think of a lot of things that would be worse than nothing." House said.

Wilson growled at him, showing more than a hint of teeth. Foreman shot Cuddy a look of unease.

"Fine, I'll be quite so she can pixi-fy Chase." House grumbled.

Cameron stared up into the water-drenched face of her lover, completely at a loss. What House had said about Ferngully did spark a memory though…

"Don't laugh, okay?"

"Okay." Chase looked a little confused.

"What was done now undo, return you to the form that's true." She waved her hands about for a second, feeling completely stupid.

It didn't help when Chase failed to change.

House burst out laughing. "You actually tried--!"

Wilson let out another growl, now practically snarling in House's face. House, familiar with Wilson's moods whether they were expressed by a human version of the oncologist or not, wasn't perturbed. Wilson was pissed, but not any more than when House had dosed him with amphetamines or tried to steal his medical marijuana stash. He was more or less defending Cameron's effort. It was nauseatingly nice, actually--a characteristic that had carried over into Wilson's scaly form.

Unfortunately, the rest present didn't see it this way.

-?-

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Fantasies Come True

By GirlX2

Chapter Four

--I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger.--

House was knocked backwards onto the gurney by Foreman. His leg connected solidly with the metal framework, the fur and new shape doing nothing to cushion it. He bellowed in pain and surprise. What the hell was Foreman doing?

He watched in amazement as Wilson sprung towards him, knocking Foreman away. The neurologist was saved from a nasty fall by his new reflexes, and caught himself gracefully. He spun around, trying to face whatever Wilson would do next.

Wilson paid no attention to him. He was watching House intensely, trying to ascertain the level of pain his friend was in.

"It's fine." House managed to hiss through his clenched teeth. "Nothing an extra vicodin won't help."

"House? Are you alright?" Cameron asked anxiously.

"What the hell is wrong with all of you?" House growled as he stood up. He braced an arm on Wilson for support--He'd dropped his cane in the confusion. "Wilson wasn't going to do anything!"

"He attacked me!" Foreman shot back. He'd retreated next to Cuddy.

"He wasn't attacking you, you idiot, he was trying to get to me after you SHOVED me!"

"He was going to bite you." Foreman replied.

"The hell he was."

Wilson wasn't helping things. He was shooting a nasty look at Forman, and his tail was lashing noisily against the gurney.

"Just my luck, your protective instincts have gone into overdrive." House cuffed him gently. "Cut it out."

Wilson let out a huff, but sat still. He clearly wasn't happy with Foreman, but no longer looked like he was about to pounce on the neurologist.

"Maybe it would be best if Wilson was in another room." Cuddy found her voice.

"You mean lock him up somewhere."

"If he's dangerous, yes." Her voice got low. "I told you before, I'm not going to let him endanger anyone."

"He's not dangerous!"

"Even if he isn't, he could be seen that way. I don't want anyone to harm him either, House." Cuddy said firmly.

With the rush of adrenaline gone, Wilson began berating himself inwardly. He had had an overwhelming urge to get Foreman away from House after the neurologist had shoved him. He hadn't been able to help it. House was right--his protective instincts were going into overdrive. House simply seemed more vulnerable than before--whether it was because Wilson was suddenly armor plated, or because dragonish instincts were taking over, he didn't know. He really could have hurt Foreman in his attempt to get to House.

And on top of everything, he was still mad that Foreman had injured House.

'Maybe I _should _be locked up.'

House watched as Wilson's entire body seemed to droop. "Damn it Wilson, don't you buy into the idiocy too. I'm not letting you get locked up."

"Maybe Wilson could stay on the far side of the pool for the time being." Chase piped up.

"Fine. While you four play dungeon master, Wilson and I are going to try to figure this out rationally." House limped past Cuddy and Foreman. Wilson followed behind, but cast his eyes downward. He could sense the anger and raw fear streaming off Foreman.

Once they reached the far side of the pool, House shucked off his jeans and boxers. The fur underneath was wavy and graying, and much thicker than the hair on his head. His legs had taken a distinctly bowed look, and took a few inches off his height. As House moved, Wilson spotted a short tail sticking out of his fur--the transformation was complete. On his right thigh was a mangy-looking patch. The scar had apparently survived the transformation.

"It hurts a little less than usual." House said quietly. "Goat-legs are a bit more resilient than human ones, I think."

Unable to offer a verbal response, Wilson nuzzled him in what he hoped was a comforting manner. House rolled his eyes, but didn't push him away.

"Okay. Most rational explanations for this are I'm having a hallucination, dream, or a coma fantasy."

Wilson rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know this is real life and not a soap opera. Plus my leg never hurts in those situations." House said. "Which means that, however weird, this is real."

Wilson nodded. The last thing they needed was House ignoring this because it couldn't possibly be real.

"There is one really weird thing in all this--why did just the five of us change?"

'_That's _the really weird thing?' Wilson thought, shrugging.

"I think I'm going to walk around a bit and see if anyone else has turned mythological on us." House picked up his discarded jeans. "Are you gonna be okay?"

Wilson's eyes widened--had House just asked that question?--but nodded.

House wriggled into his jeans, which didn't entirely hide the strange shape of his legs. "I'll be back as soon as I can. If any of them try anything, you have my permission to make 'em extra crispy."

Wilson rolled his eyes. House hobbled out, his step a little quicker than usual.

Chase swam to Wilson's side of the pool. "Where's House going?"

Wilson just blinked at him. How exactly did Chase expect him to answer?

"I guess that was a dumb question."

Well, at least Chase had mustered up the courage to talk to him. That made Wilson feel a little better.

"We're not having much luck with Cameron." He confided. "If she does have magic she had no idea how to use it--not that that's her fault."

Wilson nodded. This wasn't much like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or any other pop culture representation of magic.

"I'll let you know if we get anywhere." Chase promised and sunk under the water. Wilson watched him do a few lazy figure eights before popping up on the other side. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

'At least one of us is.' Wilson watched the humanoid group enviously.

House startled them all by flinging the door open. "You guys need to see this!"

"See what?" Cuddy asked.

"It's easier to show you than tell you." House replied. He nodded at Wilson. "That means you too, Puff."

"What if someone sees him?"

"Believe me, nobody is going to care." House smirked.

'That doesn't sound promising.' Wilson thought as he joined House at the door. Cuddy and Foreman filed behind him, with Cameron flitting nearby. Chase watched them anxiously from the pool.

"House, what's going on?" Foreman asked.

"You tell me." House replied, opening the door.

The sight of a stone-lined corridor met them.

"Either we're in an enchanted castle, or the holodeck I ordered finally arrived."

-

To be Continued.


	5. Chapter 5

Fantasies Come True

By GirlX2

Chapter Five

--I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger.--

"I don't believe this." Cuddy murmured as they walked past the clinic. She gave wide berth to what seemed to be a unicorn. "Everyone in the hospital has turned into a fantasy creature."

"Thank you Miss Obvious." House grumbled. "And not everyone has changed. You look normal."

"Why is everyone else acting like this is ordinary?" Foreman asked as they passed a small room where a dwarf was being examined by a woman made of vines and flowers. "We're the only ones who seem to think it's odd."

"Maybe it's a side effect of whatever did this." Cameron suggested.

"At any rate, we're probably the only ones who can undo this, since no one else seems to mind." House replied.

"Oh…shit." Foreman was looking out of a window. "You guys might want to see this."

"Don't tell me: Sauroman's army is here." House peeked out the window.

The surrounding buildings had all vanished, as had the nicely paved road that led past PPTH. Instead, huge trees surrounded them, and a small dirt path led past them and into the woods.

"Everything's vanished." Cameron looked horrified.

"No." House said suddenly. "Whatever happened here happened to the hospital only. Otherwise we'd be seeing 'Ye Olde McBurger Tavern' just down the road. I'm betting that everything else in Jersey is still _in_ Jersey."

"Then where are we?" Cameron asked.

"I have no idea." House shrugged.

"I'm going to my office. Maybe there will be a map or something." Cuddy rushed off.

"She shouldn't go alone--it might be dangerous." Foreman gave Wilson a hard look and followed after Cuddy.

"We shouldn't split up!" Cameron watched them go, dismayed.

"This still seems to be a hospital, albeit a medieval one. It's perfectly safe." House replied. Wilson nodded reluctantly, agreeing. He couldn't see or otherwise sense anything amiss. "Go tell Chase what's happening."

"Chase! He must be worried." Cameron shot off in a puff of pixy dust.

"Well, that takes care of the Scoobies. Wanna go outside?"

Wilson glanced sharply at House. While the hospital had changed, it was certainly safer inside than outside.

"I think I like you better without a voice. You can't whine about my plans." House smirked and trotted toward the door.

'Damnit House.' Wilson paced after him, annoyed. He suddenly wondered how effective singeing House's tail would be if he wanted to 'voice' his displeasure…

-?-

Cuddy tried not to gape at the contents of her office. Gone were her meticulously- kept files, the new computer, and the tasteful desk set. Instead, large leather-bound books with titles like 'The Grimmerie' and '1001 Hexes' sat on rough wooden shelves. A weathered broomstick sat in the corner, along with a black cloak and a beaten-looking cauldron.

"Good God, if this was any more stereotypical I'd have to wear a pointy black hat." She murmured, picking up one of the books. "'Spells for fun and profit'?"

"Maybe there's something here that could put things back to normal." Foreman replied.

"I guess we can check." Cuddy frowned at the large stack of books. "I hope your elven eyes can't get strained."

-?-

Cameron's heart sunk when she entered the therapy room. The whole room had become little more than a ring of dirt surrounding a large natural pool. Chase emerged from under the water.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"Fine, although it startled me when everything changed." Chase nodded. "I'm assuming the rest of the hospital is like this now."

"Yeah, along with all the people in the hospital. Everything outside is just--"

"A forest."

"How did you know?"

"There's an underground stream down there that leads out. I took a peek outside." He shrugged. "Actually, there are a lot of things at the bottom of the pool. I think I'm supposed to be living down there."

Cameron peered over the edge of the water, but couldn't see anything besides a dim glow. "What's that light?"

"Magical fire." Chase looked excited now. "You should have a look, it's really neat."

"I would, if I could hold my breath that long." Cameron said dubiously. "I was never a great swimmer."

Chase's face fell. "Oh. Right. I forgot."

That was going to be come an issue very quickly, Cameron realized, unless they fixed this. Just how were she and Chase supposed to be carrying on a relationship this way? Even if she were normal sized, Chase was currently lacking some vital equipment. How exactly did mermaids reproduce anyway?

This train of thought was interpreted when Cuddy and Foreman came into the room. Cuddy was carrying a very old looking book.

"Where's House?" She asked.

"I don't know." Cameron shrugged. "I came back down here when we split up."

"Well, we need to find him. I might have a way to fix all this."

-?-

"Well, go ahead!"

Wilson's tail lashed against a nearby tree.

"It's safe, and unless you can think of a better way to figure out if anything is around here, we've got no choice. Get moving."

The draconic oncologist looked pointedly down the path.

"Oh yeah, lets go walking in the enchanted forest, that's way safer than you taking a little flight. Get moving!"

Wilson flapped his wings angrily. He had no idea how to fly, and even if he did, he wasn't about to try it. Even if he didn't kill himself in the attempt it would bring unwanted attention. There were, in all likelihood, bigger dragons somewhere. Wilson had no desire to meet them.

House was about to berate him again when Cuddy and Foreman came out of the castle.

"What are you two doing?"

"I'm trying to get Wilson to do some reconnaissance, but he's too big of a wuss."

Wilson rolled his eyes at this.

"It doesn't matter. I've found a way to fix this.

-?-

To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

Fantasies Come True

By GirlX2

Chapter Six

--I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger.--

"Cameron actually had the right idea before." House gave the fairy an appraising look. They'd all joined Cameron and Chase in the former-therapy room (now, apparently, Chase's home).

"Yes, we just need some other components to make it work." Cuddy had 'The Grimmire' opened to a page labeled 'Transformation Reversal'. "And I think most of these things are in my office."

"Then why aren't you getting your wool of bat and eye of newt together now?" House asked.

"The first ingredient isn't in there." Cuddy looked toward Wilson, the joy fading from her features. "It calls for the blood of a dragon."

"Okay, so we just drain a little from him and we're good. He can spare it." House replied.

Wilson sighed noisily and nodded. Whatever equipment they had for bloodletting would probably be messy and painful, but it sure as hell beat staying a dragon forever.

"Okay House, then you can go ahead and do it."

"Why me?"

"Because Wilson's liable to kill anyone else who approaches him with a knife." Foreman said coldly.

"Did a bunch of D&D geeks beat you up after school one day or something?" Chase demanded from the pool. "Wilson hasn't tried to hurt anyone, and you're acting like he's breathing down your neck."

"Just because he hasn't attacked _you_--"

"He hasn't attacked anyone!" Cameron jumped in.

House rolled his eyes as his ducklings began squabbling. "Cuddy, get your stuff together. I'm going to bleed Wilson so this insanity can end."

-?-

House managed to find a room equipped with the necessary tools fairly quickly. Wilson didn't resist as House made the incision, but winced. He'd had to cut into the unscaled area of his throat. House had some thread ready, just in case Dragons didn't clot quickly.

"I'm going to have Cuddy change you back first. Hopefully Foreman will quit whining after that."

Wilson nodded and, without thinking, laid on the ground. Due to the length of his new neck, his head was still on the tabletop.

'That's a little freaky.' He got back up quickly, feeling disoriented.

House pulled the small container of blood away from the cut. "I think this should be enough. You're clotting pretty quick, you won't need stitches.

Wilson was grateful for this. The thread House had selected was thick; it was practically cord. Not something he'd want embedded in his body when he changed back.

Assuming this worked.

Even if they changed back, what would happen to the hospital? Would everything else change back too, or would they be stuck in this vaguely-medieval setting forever?

House seemed to be pondering this as well as they made their way back to the Chase's cellar. "If this doesn't work there are still a lot of spell books in Cuddy's office. There's probably a way to get everything back to normal."

'I hope so.' Wilson nodded as they passed a larger, wolfish humanoid. He didn't want to be stuck here any more than he wanted to be a dragon. Perhaps even more so once he wasn't a dragon.

"House!" A voice called sharply from behind them. Wilson's neck snapped around, leaving his body momentarily facing the wrong way.

Standing behind them was a very Human-looking Wilson.

-?-

To be Concluded...


	7. Chapter 7

Fantasies Come True

By GirlX2

Chapter Seven

--I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger.--

Were it not for the fact that Wilson currently wasn't human, it would have been like looking in a mirror. Dragon!Wilson bared his teeth and let out a low growl. Whatever was going on, he didn't like it. House stepped closer to him and laid a hand on his neck.

"Easy. It's just you, how bad could it be?"

The new Wilson approached them slowly, hands out. He was wearing a leather jerkin, and looked every part the common medieval man.

"Greg?" He asked hopefully.

"If you don't know I'm not telling you."

The new Wilson nodded. "It's you."

Dragon!Wilson growled again. This was some kind of trick, or impostor. Why wasn't House letting him tear the guy apart?

The new Wilson's gaze fell on the dragon. "James Wilson?"

The fanged jaw dropped.

"I can see there's a lot of explaining to do." New Wilson sighed.

"Okay, since we've established that he's Wilson, who the hell are you?" House demanded.

"I'm also James Wilson--just not _your _James Wilson." The man replied. "Just as I suspect you're not _my_ Gregory House."

"No, but he _is _in possession of my body." Another familiar voice echoed down the corridor.

House found himself at a rare loss for words when his double stepped in to view. Well, his double had he still been human. The man was dressed similarly to Wilson, had a weather-beaten looking rod that he leaned on, and bare feet.

"I told Lisa I should have done the spell. She screwed it up." The double muttered, looking House over.

"It worked Greg, it just has some side effects we didn't know about." The Wilson-clone chided him.

"I'd call those two one hell of a side effect." Greg made a face.

"We're not enthralled to be here either." House shot. Dragon!Wilson let out a low growl as way of agreement. "One of you better explain what's going on before I let Wilson subside to his animalistic nature."

"Not here--it'll be easier if we're all together. I don't want to explain this more than once." Greg replied.

"The rest of our group is in the basement, or maybe Cuddy's room. We're in the midst of getting some ingredients together." House held up the vial of Wilson's blood.

"You're trying to cast a transformation spell, _untrained_?!" James looked horrified. "Do you know how wrong that can go, even with professionals?!"

"No, because where we're from magic doesn't exist!" House snapped.

"I should have known that you'd try something dangerous, no matter what version of you it was. I should have been watching--"

"Easy James, they can't do anything without your counterpart's fluids." Greg laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Let's round everybody up so we can end this freak show."

House watched the uneven gait of his counterpart as they walked. "You're not used to walking with actual feet."

"You wouldn't be either if you'd never had them before." Greg replied evenly. "You're slipping a bit more than a natural satyr would."

"Wilson's having difficulty controlling his dragon instincts." House volunteered. "But James there seems to have adapted to humanity just fine. No problem going from a four-legged gait to two or communicating with spoken language."

"I told you he'd figure it out." James sighed.

"Of course he would, he's _me_." Greg stopped his uneven walk and turned to House. "James doesn't have a problem because he used to be human. Until about to years ago he looked just like he did now. Then, like the idiot he is, he tried to remove an irreversible curse from a patient, and when he did he ended up like your friend there."

"Two years ago is when Wilson's wife left him." House replied. "Probably not quite as life-changing as turning into another species, but a big change nonetheless."

Wilson gave a shudder. Losing your marriage and half your property was one thing--losing your very humanity was quite another.

House skirtched him behind one ear, but didn't look at him. "So for two years you've been looking for a way to change him back."

Greg shrugged. "Amongst other things. If you didn't notice, this place has a few other patients besides James."

"I'm guessing whatever you did finally find led to all this hoopla. I've currently got an elf, a fairy, and a merman working under me who, until earlier this morning, were all human."

"It wasn't supposed to work that way." James dropped his gaze to the floor. "If I'd had any idea the cure would affect another version of me, or more people than just me, I'd never have let Greg try it."

"Now we know." Greg shrugged. "Not that I'd do it the same way again, if I could. Except for Allison and Robby, everyone is pretty freaked. Those two disappeared into a closet about the time Allison became human size and Robby grew some new appendages."

"Way to much information." James started forwards again, blanching. Wilson scuttled after him, leaving House and Greg grinning at each other.

-?-

It was more crowded in the pool-room with everyone and their human doubles, but no one seemed to mind sharing the space. Cameron was sitting on Chase's palm, as they conversed with their giggly, mussed-hair, counterparts. Foreman and his once-elf, now human counterpart, were discussing the long involved history of elves and dragons. Cuddy was poised over the same beaten cauldron, but now had a skimpily-clothed (well, more so) version of herself providing instructions.

"If I'd had any idea that reversing my transformation would cause everyone else to transform and be brought here, we never would have done it." James was trying to apologize to the group en mass. "There should be a way to change everyone back and send you to your proper plane of existence. I'll need the vial of blood from my counterpart, though."

House handed it over. "What are you going to do?"

"If I reverse my transformation--"

"No James." Greg cut him off fiercely. "I've worked too damn long for you to just take the easy path out."

"If you try to find a way of preserving my humanity and changing everyone else back it could take years." James locked onto him. "These people need to get back to their own plane, and they can't do it looking like us."

Greg seemed to be at a loss. "There might not be another way. This could be it."

"I won't do this if it means taking other people's lives and humanity." James said softly. "And if that means I'm trapped in that body forever, so be it. I knew the risks when I took this path, Greg."

"He even has your guilt trips. Impressive." House said quietly to Wilson. Wilson just stared as his double and House's double fought. Everyone else in the room had gone deadly quiet. There was a faint splash as Chase's tail maneuvered to keep him above water, but that was it.

"Fine." Greg growled. "But if we can't fix you and you're stuck in that form for the rest of your life, don't you dare bitch at me."

"As if I could." James sighed. "It'll be a good deal quicker than when we swapped forms, your bodies already know what shape they're supposed to be. You should return to your own plane once it's completed."

Cuddy nodded. "There's no way we could help you? There's a lot of technological improvements where we're from, maybe-"

"If you think chemotherapy or an IV drip is going to cure dragonitis, you're buying into the fantasy." House's tone was softer than his words implied. "We can't do anything for him."

Lisa nodded. "He's right. Our magic wouldn't work on your plane any more than your technology would here."

While they talked James stirred a few nasty looking things into the vial and recited a few words over it. "It won't take long."

"You already said that." Greg and House said together, perfectly matched in tone and rhythm. More than a few knowing glances were shared around the room.

James looked like he had a retort, but instead shrugged and downed the vial in one gulp.

It seemed that Chase instantly lost his buoyancy, dropping out of sight into the water. Cameron splashed in a moment later, her wings failing to keep her up. Chase sputtered as he broke the surface of the pool, spitting up water. He and Cameron quickly climbed out, aided by the re-emergence of Chase's legs ,and Cameron's rapid growth back to human-size. At the same time, Robby was sliding into the pool and Allison was diminishing.

Cuddy and Foreman didn't change outwardly, and neither did their counterparts. Forman began blinking furiously after a moment, as if trying to clear his vision. His counterpart patted his shoulder in a consoling fashion. Cuddy and Lisa said nothing, but traded knowing glances. _Something_ had been exchanged, even if it wasn't visible.

House's leg began to ache as he changed back, fur receding into skin, and bones flowing from animal to human standards. He felt the horns vanish at the same rate they grew on Greg. It would have been vastly more interesting if there hadn't been two half-dragons beside them.

The transformation wasn't painful to the two Wilsons, even if it was painful to watch. House watched Wilson carefully as scales merged back into pink flesh, the wings shrank to nothing, and the bones reformed into their proper shapes. Greg had a much harder expression as James' transformation went exactly opposite. Soon, where he'd been standing, a dragon was crouched.

House helped Wilson off the floor and onto his feet. "Welcome back to the gene pool."

Wilson said nothing, but quickly donned the clothing his counterpart had shed.

House watched his double bend over the dragon and whisper something into James' ear. James gave no indication that he'd heard, aside from a twitch of the tail.

The scene faded instantly, back into the stainless steel walls of the basement therapy room. The group looked somewhat misplaced, as Wilson, Chase, and Cameron, were still wearing medieval clothing.

"We'd better go change." Chase managed after a moment. There didn't seem to be much else to say. He started upstairs with the other ducklings.

Cuddy made no move to leave. "Did that just happen?"

House nodded. "Yeah. No hallucinogens involved, even."

Cuddy turned from them abruptly and started back upstairs.

Wilson hadn't moved yet, or spoken. Most of House's instincts told him to leave the oncologist, let him work it out himself. However, one stubborn iota of his being wouldn't let him leave. House cursed this iota, but stayed next to him.

"I guess there are worse things than divorce." He finally offered.

"Thank you." Wilson didn't seem to hear him.

"For what?"

"Sticking by me."

"I shouldn't have had to. It was obvious you were still you. Foreman's elf-instincts just got the better of him. I'm sure he'll be sending you an apology muffin-basket tomorrow."

"Yeah." Wilson turned to him. "So, what do we do now?"

"I vote lunch."

"It's got to be after three."

"And we never ate. I'm sure Cuddy isn't going to bitch. Then, let's get the hell out of here. We'll take a long weekend."

"It's Wednesday!"

"A _really _long weekend."

Wilson gave a sigh, nodded, and the two started slowly upwards.

-.-

Fin


End file.
